Can i not drive my cunt home
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
