i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
