We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
