I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
