Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize