TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
