I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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