its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize