Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
