i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
