Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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