i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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