Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
