I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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