OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
