Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
