its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
