Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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