I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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