That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
