please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
