she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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