Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am midnight drunk by noon
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
