I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
