I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
