The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
