While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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