All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
