Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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