Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
