I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
