How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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