**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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