he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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