ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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