would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
