Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm like, not good at living.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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