We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
