I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
