Do vagina's smell?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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