I need help removing her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
