Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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