dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
