Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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