the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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