If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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