all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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