Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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