my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize