i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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