Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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