Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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