I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
