I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
