your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
