I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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