My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
