and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
