Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
