and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize